Friday, 16 December 2016

The Gentleman and the Nice Guy.

Men are often told to 'be a gentleman' which usually means 'do as you are told'. Is this all the gentleman is- an obedient man?
The Gentleman is not a wimp.
A photo posted by Richard Ford ( on
The first photograph is of Liberties of London and the second is the entrance to the Temple in the City. Both places may be visited on my London tours.

The Gentleman believes in himself and his gift to the world. Sharing is a joy to him.

The Nice Guy thinks he is deficient and he must do things for other people to be accepted. He is often lonely and resentful and may act out in covert and spiteful ways.

The Gentleman feels happy most of the time. His state is not reliant on the opinion of others.

The Nice Guy lives on an emotional roller coaster. When others like him, he is happy. When they do not his is crushed.

The Gentleman is respectful of other people. This is normal among high self esteem individuals. He embodies the 'I'm OK your OK' ideal. He is not easily manipulated because he is clear about his values.

The Nice Guy draws emotional vampires to him. They play upon his unworthiness. The Nice Guy has little real love of humanity- when he gives it is out of obligation and not love.

The Gentleman tends towards political liberty. He does not need power over others in order to feel good and he also has no compulsion to rescue other people.

 If most people (including himself) are basically decent then why must people be controlled by any authority? Occasionally he may be found on the political left but even here he favours an enabling, not a controlling state.

The Nice Guy leans to the left. He feels his achievements are actually 'privilege' and cannot enjoy them. He is resentful of others who have more and call this social justice.

The Gentleman is generally happy while the Nice Guy is a mass of resentment and anxiety. He rarely has piece of mind.

The Gentleman is the ideal lover or husband. He is driven by his own ethical values and may be trusted.

The Nice Guy is agreeable but often covertly hostile. Women are quite right to reject the Nice Guy. The problem is that they will often reject genuinely good men while doing so.

In short.. do not be a Nice Guy.

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